The Wizard

Wow, when I awoke today, I opened my eyes and for the very first time since months I felt like I am the one who is looking through those eyes. I am the one using my fingers; I am the one thinking my thoughts. I want you to understand. For the last months I was not sure if I am myself. People call that schizophrenia. But it’s not like my sister’s, who used to hear stereo voices about her cotton crown, and then go outside to see the whole world in red. It felt more like someone using me, using my fingers, using my thoughts. And now I see what I’ve done, or better my other controlled self (as you will soon understand) has done the last months, only writing books about spiritual travels, publishing them through Eoterischer Verlag. Who or better what mighty entity controlled me?
Now I know. It’s a mighty wizard sitting on a dope or dark or whatever throne. And this wizard, who uses electric powers in binary ways to control me, he is another self of me. Some people call this wizard Flo, some Centurion Stanley Hans, some Peter Turbopete. He has many names, and many identities. And he uses me. It’s not that he abuses me, but now that I am sure of being myself for the very first time I understand his power, his will. But how can I be sure that I am writing this and not the mighty wizard in my name as he used to do before. Maybe by calling the record that contains this song one of my favourite metal records of all the time.



Yes it’s true! I have to think of things that only I know, and not the mighty wizard that has a hundred names. But where is the thin line that divides me from him. We share so many thoughts and ideas. Who knows for how long I will be myself, will be able to control myself, before the wizard casts another binary spell over me, and enforces his thoughts over me? We, no I will see. Will I?

But for now it’s sure...

Yours truly

Rudi

PS: Now, that the money from my (or better his) publications at Esoterischer Verlag comes in and is being transferred to my (yes my, not his) account, I see clearly that he wants to do me good, only giving me the opportunity to be someone I’ve never dreamed of being. But what will be, when he never comes back, never controls me again, will I be able to write those books alone? Will I be able to uphold my publications, to gain popularity and money?

AND! Still looking for a show we could play on our way from Hamburg back to Vienna, yup that’s the 5.6.!